bitten once

Originally uploaded by kristalynn.

i experience my fair share of bad moods. those who know me know them well. but over the years, i've learned that when i feel despair approaching, i will impose a self-sequestering so that i don't inflict my malevolence upon others.

or i will eat a coconut cream pie in a “quick fix” attempt to remedy the situation.

but of late, i've been on the receiving end of much grumpiness. and i do have to say that these people have been grossly negligent of their own self-castigation.


your declination of an invite to dinner by barking a "no!" at me was unwarranted. your inexcusable behavior necessitates a 10 dinner penalty punishment. i am counting. if i don’t see you before spring thaw, it’ll be too soon.


chocolate desert is delicious. chocolate desert in a fancy jar layered with caramel mousse, crunchy cookie, and fancy rock salt is to be revered and respected. it did not taste, contrary to your censure, like a "jello pudding pop". we’re sorry you’ve had “better elsewhere”, but we are here now, and my glass of champagne cost $19. i’ve had 40 ouncers of malt liquor that i’ve enjoyed more.


and, if you're going to float around on an air-mattress in a pool, i am going to come up to with a water-logged dog toy and throw it onto you buoyant belly. that's what summer is about. sorry that you were "trying to nap." and you ask why i got into the wine? it's because you and the entire weekend drove me to drink. yes, at 11 am.

so thanks to everyone. you managed to suck what tiny little bits of joy i ever managed to acquire right out. the consequence? invite me to dinner. i won’t say no.