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Saturday, September 01, 2007

bitten once

Originally uploaded by kristalynn.
i experience my fair share of bad moods. those who know me know them well. but over the years, i've learned that when i feel despair approaching, i will impose a self-sequestering so that i don't inflict my malevolence upon others.

or i will eat a coconut cream pie in a “quick fix” attempt to remedy the situation.

but of late, i've been on the receiving end of much grumpiness. and i do have to say that these people have been grossly negligent of their own self-castigation.

your declination of an invite to dinner by barking a "no!" at me was unwarranted. your inexcusable behavior necessitates a 10 dinner penalty punishment. i am counting. if i don’t see you before spring thaw, it’ll be too soon.

chocolate desert is delicious. chocolate desert in a fancy jar layered with caramel mousse, crunchy cookie, and fancy rock salt is to be revered and respected. it did not taste, contrary to your censure, like a "jello pudding pop". we’re sorry you’ve had “better elsewhere”, but we are here now, and my glass of champagne cost $19. i’ve had 40 ouncers of malt liquor that i’ve enjoyed more.

and, if you're going to float around on an air-mattress in a pool, i am going to come up to with a water-logged dog toy and throw it onto you buoyant belly. that's what summer is about. sorry that you were "trying to nap." and you ask why i got into the wine? it's because you and the entire weekend drove me to drink. yes, at 11 am.

so thanks to everyone. you managed to suck what tiny little bits of joy i ever managed to acquire right out. the consequence? invite me to dinner. i won’t say no.


At September 01, 2007, Anonymous Buxom S. said...

Good times...good times.

At September 02, 2007, Blogger jezsik said...

Driven to drink by 11AM? I think it's probably safer to invite you for breakfast than supper.

At September 05, 2007, Blogger Irin said...

I'm right there with you k.

At September 09, 2007, Blogger Karen said...

Hi!!!! I can *now* leave comments easily because I created a blog for myself. Now that I have a google account, I can leave comments with ease (tricky google people - getting more google business).

Must back-track through your blog and comment away. :)

Sorry people have lost their funnybones and said mean things on the outside. Your pranks would have had our household laughing their butts off....(sigh, oh dear, did I say BUTT???? That's another sure fire thing to get 'em laughing round here).... xo


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