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Sunday, July 08, 2007

lest they perish

42nd street station
Originally uploaded by kristalynn.
i was recently discussing cleaning products with a girlfriend. i explained the great pleasure i get from swiffing. when i throw the befouled swiffer cloth (dry or wet) into the garbage and close the lid on it forever, i'm almost driven to rapture.

"i don't agree with swiffing," she stated.

"this is something i don't understand," i replied.

"i'm against the whole disposability thing."

"you think we need to have more of a connect with our filth?"

"i think convenience keeps us from dealing with consequence."

someone in my sister's building died 2 weeks ago. and although she didn't have the energy to tell me about it, i pressed her for the details. it was a sad story about a schizophrenic man who died alone only to be discovered three days later because 10 liters of his body fluids leaked into the apartment beneath him.

i'm puzzled by death. i think this stems from the suicide of my ex-boyfriend. i was unable to find anyone who could help me through that period. anytime i brought up the subject, it was changed.

"the story of the dead guy in my sister's building has affected me," i said to my boyfriend over lunch.

"please. we're eating."

"no. not the fluids..."

"i really don't want to talk about this over lunch."

i started to cry.

he put down his fork. "what is it that's bothering you?"

"we turn so gross so fast. i guess we're all soul." i pointed to random parts of my body. "all of this is meaningless. why do people worry so much about boob jobs, nose jobs, stupid lip injections?"

"we need the visible - our bodies - so that the invisible can do the extraordinary things that are meant to be done. at least that's what kazantzakis says."

my ex-boyfriend was also found three days after he hung himself. the cleaning lady discovered him.

we aren't meant to die alone. someone has to get us back into the earth as soon as possible. because you can't swiff that shit up.


At July 09, 2007, Blogger holly said...

well said. death is messy, not matter how it happens. And if we are lucky, life is messy enough to be enjoyed.

At July 09, 2007, Anonymous lori said...

tip for guilt free swiffing:

use an old facecloth on the end of the swiffer. just throw it in the wash and reuse. we do it and it works great! you need one that squirts the water tho...

great blog.

At July 10, 2007, Blogger Anne C. said...

Death schmeath. I'm shocked that you swiff.

At July 10, 2007, Blogger Kell said...

I'm always up for a chat about this - because I feel like I'm all about the soul... I was talking to my mother yesterday about Jason - and the fact that my sister is in the process of giving his things away - to living kids. My mom asked, "Do you want anything?" I don't, I guess - at least not as much as I want my little boy back... but I'm compelled to have his Stitch Stuffed doll (pronounced "Snisch" by Jason) -

I've also avoided seeing Shrek the Third - because I spent so much time watching installments one and two with Jason... Maybe I'll take Snisch with me when I go.

At July 17, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong" Bertrand Russell

At July 23, 2007, Blogger jezsik said...

More, please.

At July 28, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My mom actually throws the swiffer cloths in the washing machine and the re-uses them. I think boyfriend had a good answer there.


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