non-prophet
i ran into a friend and asked about a mutual friend - someone who neither one of us had seen in a while.
"i've had my heart broken by people i shouldn't have wasted my breath on. everyone's saying she could have done better than him, but, she's still hurting."
i know we're all attempted to console our friends during a breakup with this phrase.
desist.
it insults. we made a choice to be with a certain person; to have sex with them, to introduce them to family members, to pay for their trips to vegas...
this statement never made me feel better. quite contrary. it made me feel as though i was thought to have been really weak, or stupid, for that specified period of time. and that everyone was taking pity on me.
people shake their heads in a condescending, "it's a good thing that's over" way, as they advance to hug you.
i was once in a bar when a guy approached me. he told me that i could do much better than the person i was with. how is that supposed to work? a stranger informing me that i'm incapable of making one of life’s most basic and instinctual choices?
and this person in question was my first true love. i would not be where i am today had he not wasted his breath on me.
i got wind that one of my current boyfriend’s friends didn’t think i was good enough for him. and by “got wind”, i mean my boyfriend told me. during a fight. this was years ago. i’ve never forgotten, and i’ve never been able to look at this person in a forgiving light.
be careful when you console. there's someone out there who you're not good enough for.
but we aim to maim, don’t we?
Labels: relationships
posted by sass @ 10:42 PM
2 Comments:
one needs to be hurt in order to be healed but others will always undermine the value of this. that's the folly of our ways today.
I just like to think that we gave someone a shot - and wether we "date up" or "date down," - it's all material.
Dave constantly says I'm too good for him - and I think he's misguided... I'm not that great - and besides... he's much nicer and kinder and more sensitive than I...
So who's to say?
Is one man's trash truly another's treasure? Or is it that people are constantly overlooking the treasure because of weird expectations, lack of vision - or general stupidity? I could go on and on and on... But I think when our jealousies, lack of trust, and inability to be kind take over, we judge other people's treasures.
In the end - all that matters is how I feel about Dave and how Dave feels about me - and so far, we're sticking together, even keeled.
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