now i know why there's no "i" in team

Originally uploaded by kristalynn.

i often take on too much. try to do everything on my own. too independent. and only recently i realized that i'm mad at myself for having done everything, and continuing to do, everything on my own. sometimes i find that i need help, that i would like someone else to take care of things.

"we're a team, don't forget that," said my boyfriend during one of my overwhelmed bouts. "okay?" he had grabbed both of my elbows and shook me a bit.

"okay..." i replied. it was the best feeling in the world.


last sunday i went to visit a friend who had just had a baby.

as we walked through the front doors of the hospital, a couple and their newborn walked out.

"nice work," lauded my friend matthew.

they kind of smiled, kind of smirked and walked on by.

when we found our friend's room, matthew grabbed her and pressed his face into hers, repeating over and over, "caroline, you did it. you did it."

i stood by them and fought back my tears.

once they broke apart, she replied, "i know. i can't believe i get to bring him home with me."

caroline had the baby on her own. she had no one with her in the delivery room but her mom - who she sent out on occasion.

after we all simmered down a bit and spoke of tiny miracles, the baby started to cry.

"he's hungry," matthew and i concluded.

"he just ate before you got here," caroline said.

we shrugged. "he's hungry."

"okay, let's try." she arranged him near her boob.

i watched them as he fed. she beamed and he was just beautiful. as hokey or cheesy as it sounds, i saw a little team. once they walked out the front doors in a few days, it was just going to be the two of them, against the world. and it was fabulous.