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Friday, May 11, 2007

big timber

big timber
Originally uploaded by kristalynn.
"do you think you guys are still going to be friends by the time your trip's over?"

that was the question that was asked of me so many times before i embarked on a 2-week drive across the united states with a girlfriend.

i answered by shrugging one shoulder. "maybe not..."

"truth be known?"

"mm hmm," i replied. this had become one of our road games. random blurtings-out of deep, dark secrets. it is, by far, my favorite game.

"i was pretty sure this trip was going to be the end of our friendship," she confessed.

i smiled knowingly and continued to stir the hot tub with the paddle. it was my job to get the temperature down from 125 degrees, considering i was the one who had added all the logs to the fire.

my driving partner made random guesses at where we should end up by day's end. it didn't matter if there was anything of note in that town; if it appeared on a map, she'd point at it and repeat its name throughout the day.

"if i hear you utter missoula one more time, i swear, i'll drive this car into a ditch. it'll roll and kill us both. i swear i'll do this. and plus, isn't today "no speak day"?"


"no speaking please."

billings, montana was one of her imaginary destinations. when we arrived, an ire rose up in me that i had never felt before. it is a city that rivals athens, greece in hideousness. a stench permeated the air. smokestacks lined the sky.

"fuck it stinks," she said.

"the last thing in the world i want is to stop here. but i have to pee."

"big surprise."

"can we stop at this burger king please?"

"buy a drink this time. you can't keep going into places and using their bathrooms without buying anything."

"yes i can. they're roadstops. they understand."

"they are NOT. here, follow this guy going in now. pretend you're with him."

"the convict? sure. wait here."

i returned from the bathroom to find her pointing at another destination. "look, there's a place called "park city" about 30 miles from here. that sounds cute, doesn't it? park city?"

"can we just get out of here? this town has rendered me angry."

"i think park city is the place for us."

park city consisted of a trailer park populated along railroad tracks. two guys working on a motorcycle watched us slowly and silently drive by.

"if we stay here, we will die. there will be a single screen door keeping anal rapists from our bedside."

"keep going?" she asked.

back at the hot tub, i grabbed my glass of champagne. "look!" i said with pride, "i can get my feet in! i bet it's down to about 115 degrees."

"i'm going to get that last bag of ice."

"no! we need that for the margaritas..."



At May 13, 2007, Anonymous Buxom S. said...

"Fargo" forgot to mention "Fargo"... ;)

At May 14, 2007, Anonymous lori said...

you made me laugh out loud! too funny. :)

At May 14, 2007, Blogger sass said...

"bismarck" annoyed me more than "fargo".

At May 15, 2007, Anonymous Buxom S. said...

Defeat is mine. I called the manager of the Burger King (406-628-7120) in Laurel, Montana (it was Laurel...the town after Billings) and he said that if you want to come in and use their restroom, you can.


At May 18, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...



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