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Tuesday, April 26, 2005

did you not get my memo?

Originally uploaded by kristalynn.

the doors in my building seem to be configured to mercilessly slam. so i posted a note in the hallway asking my friendly neighbors to make a concerted effort not to slam their doors, so that we all can live harmoniously.

yesterday my neighbor must've forgotten my memo and walked out of his apartment and slammed his door. the next thing i hear is "oops! sorry." aimed clearly at my door.

my sister and i, when we lived together, once posted a memo in our small apartment building. see, someone had kidnapped her captain jean-luc picard cardboard cut-out. she got him as a birthday present because she loved him. he hung out in our living room for a long time. he was great. you could see him from the street and i really liked coming home to him. then came the day that we decided that he should move into the hallway and welcome us as we return home. he lasted a day or two before he was abducted. we lamented his loss. it was as though our really great, silent, hot roommate had left us.

only about a week later we got the idea to post said communal memo, asking for whomever stole captain jean-luc picard to return him. full amnesty would be granted. later that night captain jean-luc picard rang our bell. we were so happy to see him. a word bubble was taped to his mouth, written in star-trek speak, which i don't really understand. apparently he had gone on some inter-galactic journey, fending off foes. he was sorry for the worry he caused us. i was just happy to have him back. he had a chill, so i gave him a cardigan.

he hung out with us again, back in the living room. but it wasn't the same. captain jean-luc picard was distant. we knew he was thinking about someone else. he hid it well, but i knew what was coming. "i don't want him to go! i love him!" "but they love him more," she reasoned. we had to make the ultimate sacrifice: captain jean luc picard left us the next day. he went back into the hallway, with another word bubble. the two geeks at the end of the hallway were beaming.


At April 26, 2005, Anonymous Charles the Semantic Cop said...

Picard hot? Come on! Next you'll be claiming that Connery's sexier than Moore. Or is it a voice thing? But then cardboard cut-outs can't talk. I just don't get it.

At April 26, 2005, Anonymous lori said...

ah, duh... Connery is way sexier than Morre.

At April 27, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

as i go to bed and think relentlessly about jean-luc, i also think about his trials and tribulations as a TOTAL FUKKING SEX BSTAR!!!!!

cardboard cut-out or whatever.....

what is so sweet now, turns so sour....j.lennon. xoxoxoxox

At April 27, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Of course Jean-Luc Picard is hot. Any well man or woman would mourn his absence. But to have him return to you and be aloof and distant...that, my friend, would be a tragedy of epic proportions.

And Roger Moore isn't worthy enough to shine Sean Connery's shoes.

At April 27, 2005, Blogger Lisa said...

Patrick Stewart trumps both Connery and Moore--I don't get the feeling either Connery or Moore like hanging out with women, which is definitely unsexy. Stewart's voice, well....yum! A man's voice is one of his best assets!


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