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Monday, January 02, 2006

don't take it personally

Originally uploaded by kristalynn.

i was speaking with a friend who had just broken up with his boyfriend. he was telling me how they had tried to make it work through his boyfriend's addictive behaviors. ultimately, the boyfriend decided that he could not make my friend happy and needed to concentrate on destroying himself instead.

i said, "shit. that's such a shame. you know, you can't take this personally. it has nothing to do with you."

he said, "i know. it's his problem."

and then he started laughing. and i started laughing. and he began to say, "i won't take it personally, but the ironic thing is that..."

"i know!" i said, "it's happening to YOU. you're totally wrapped up in it."

"i won't take it personally, but it's not happening to anyone else."

don't take it personally is just another way to say, "oh hey, it's not you, it's me."

i first got the "it's not you, it's me" in grade 9. i had made out with ri¢h bank$ at the tears for fears concert. we "went out" for 2 weeks after that. one day, at lunch, he seemed particularly despondent. i asked what was wrong, and he told me that it wasn't me, it was him... i appreciated his attempt to not break my heart, but the damage was done. i curled up on my best friend's basement floor, eating hamburgers and crying. it took 2 years to get over ri¢h bank$. he was my first love. he played the guitar to me.

so i will take it personally when you say things like, "don't take it personally but...

  • "your front teeth are too big and your boobs are too small."
  • "nobody can stand to be around you. you have to be nicer."
  • "yes, she and i had groundbreaking sex, but it had nothing to do with you."
happy new year, y'all. this is the year i get braces, a boob job, and limit my eye rolls to when i'm alone. wondering what i did to my teeth.

and my boobs.


At January 03, 2006, Anonymous Buxom S. said...

1) don't get a boob job
2) you've got a beautiful smile
3) eye rolling is part of your personality. the sound of your eyes rolling is in your voice.
4) DO take it personally (because those things are always meant to hurt...personally)


5) know that it really is NOT you and it IS 100% them.

Buxom (head-up-my-ass) S.
(fyi...TOTALLY drinking a smoothie right rock)

At January 03, 2006, Blogger Kell said...

"It's not you, it's me..." so inaccurate... but so true, it's not even fair.

At January 03, 2006, Blogger Irin said...

what! did we not have a conversation about being satisfied with our own body parts..jeez k i wonder if you have any memory left!!
i will kill you if you physically change any part of you...and even if you are kidding it's not funny!

At January 03, 2006, Blogger sass said...

oh for the love of pete. i don't remember a conversation about body parts...

At January 03, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

actually it is them

At January 05, 2006, Blogger Kell said...

I always tell people looking for boob jobs that if they can engineer it, they can have up to half of mine... Be careful what you ask for. The grass isn't always greener.

At January 05, 2006, Blogger Kell said...

BTW, yours was the dreamiest U2 meeting ever. Thanks for the story.... And to think you did it with the current boob configuration.... The mind reels.

At January 05, 2006, Blogger sass said...

interestingly enough, my boobs were BIGGER when i was 16. i don't know what happened.

when my friends attest to it, my boyfriend can do nothing but put his hand up and say, "shut up! i CAN'T believe it!"

i did eat a lot of duck fat the other night. maybe my boobs will return.

At January 05, 2006, Blogger sass said...

oh and btw - irin reminded me that we were talking about body parts and this conversation got started because he saw willem dafoe's monster unit.

At January 05, 2006, Anonymous Hill said...

I don't know what you look like, but I suspect that you are just as overly-critical of yourself as I am of myself. It's called being a woman. So's the eye-rolling, BTW. ;)

The desire for a boob job: that's called being a woman surrounded by men. (Oh, and images of large breasted, stick-skinny supermodel bitches.)

Anyway, so what if it is you? Better to know sooner than later, so you can move on to someone who can recognize your fabulousness!

Thanks for visiting and commenting on my page!!

At January 06, 2006, Blogger Kell said...

I too, have seen Willem in the altogether (I love that phrase - it's from my granmother...)He's a sexy one... I wish he'd return to the Wooster Group... sigh.


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