needles

i once dated a drunken drug addict. the relationship was, of course, peppered with verbal and physical abuse. and while i finally came to my senses and left this person, i never think i'll be able to metabolize the news that he killed himself.

i often think about him. i once gave him a prickly pear of a cactus. we called him federico. and federico came down with a strange epidermal condition. one day my ex took federico into the bathroom, put some of my aloe vera gel on a q-tip, and gently dabbed it onto the cactus’s wound.

"i want him to get better." he said.

how can someone who could do so much damage to their own self tenderly repair a cactus?