brut

Originally uploaded by kristalynn.

it was my last night in prague and i was having a lie down on the couch. i heard my aunt and our host discussing our dinner plans in the other room.

"i think we should eat czech on our last night." my aunt proposed.

"that's a good idea. whatever you like, my queen. don't forget we have that champagne chilling."

"should we have it before or after dinner?"

"i think we should have it after dinner." he erroneously responded.

"no. let's have it before dinner. champagne is a cocktail." i corrected.

"i thought she was asleep..." he murmured. "at the first mention of champagne, she's suddenly awake."

i sat up and stretched. "okay. champagne. let's go."

__________

"this one's from hungary," he said as he popped the plastic cork. we looked on, dubiously.

"cheers!" we all said.

"to our gracious host," i said.

"to my lovely guests," he said.

we all drank and my aunt and i immediately turned up our noses. "hm," i said. "it's really sweet. where are the bubbles?"

"jean-pascal [all names are changed to protect the innocent], this is not drinkable. get the other champagne - the nice czech one we had last night."

"that one is not chilled."

"my niece brings you a lovely moet and you serve her this?"

"good thing for the plastic cork - you can drink it all week long, once we're gone. " i said, recorking it.

"jean-pascal, you need to be punished. get down on your knees. krista, how many lashes do you think he should get?"

"for that champagne?"

"yes, krista. and keep in mind your number will be doubled."

our host got 20 lashes for the champagne, his misbuttoned shirt, and driving too fast on the way home. he thanked her for each one.

as we were headed out to dinner, my aunt's slave put the more palatable czeck champagne in the fridge so that it would be chilled upon our return.