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Monday, May 09, 2005

where have all the cowboys gone?



Originally uploaded by kristalynn.

i've always been fascinated by the notion of the cowboy. someone who is able to hold his own, and looks great covered in dust. someone who takes no shit, especially when it comes to his gal. my dad once kicked a goose that had bitten my achilles tendon. and i guess that's where that ideal was born. the standard was set. i want someone who'll kick the toothy geese.

but my paltry life experiences have shown me that having ideals generally lets us down.

case in point:

my ex-boyfriend and i would have sunday brunch with neighborhoody friends. julius, who coined the term "discount models", was a staple.

one sunday, julius recounted his previous night's encounter with a cowboy. they met at "rawhide", a leather bar. "he had an accent and a 10-gallon hat and eeevverrrything", julius purred.

"ooh." i leaned in, eyes widened. "he's not from here? a real cowboy?"

"uh hmmm.... i never had a real cowboy before."

me neither. "sooo...?"

"well, i brought him back to my place."

"of course. of course."

"and we were getting all hot and heavy."

"right. right."

"and i went to freshen up. brush my teeth and wash my face and stuff."

"sure. yeah. uh huh."

"and i came back and he was lying in my bed wearing nothing but a diaper and sucking on a pacifier."

"oh no."

"oh yeah. he was no COWBOY. hmphf." julius turned his head in repugnance.

"what did you DO?"

"i kicked him out! what do you think i did? he was telling me he wanted daddy to change his diapers, all with the pacifier in his mouth. baby talk. that was NOT what i signed up for." julius sat back in his chair with his arms crossed. "that was no cowboy."

or was it? is that what lies underneath the roughed and tumbled?

"if i wanted 'joe any-fruit', i could have just done what i do every saturday night - walked out my front door. look, there's 13 twinks right there."

he was right. but this was chelsea.

"i mean, this guy was from wyoming," he said in between sips of his cran-orange.

1 Comments:

At May 10, 2005, Anonymous Charles the smarter than you think guy said...

Oh you get me ready in your 56 Chevy
Why don't we go sit down in the shade
Take shelter on my front porch
The dandy lion sun scorch,
Would you like a glass of cold lemonade
I will do laundry if you pay all the bills

CHORUS:

Where is my John Wayne
Where is my Prairie Son
Where is my happy ending
Where have all the cowboys gone

Why don't you stay the evening
Kick back and watch the TV
And I'll fix a little something to eat
Oh I know your back hurts from working on the tractor
How do you take your coffee my sweet
I will raise the children if you pay all the bills

Chorus

Where is my John Wayne
Where is my Prairie Son
Where is my happy ending
Where have all the cowboys gone

I am wearing my new dress tonight
But you don't, but you don't even notice me
Say goodbyes
Say goodbyes
Say goodbyes

We finally sold the Chevy
When we had another baby
And you took the job in Tennessee
You made friends at the farm
And you joined them at the bar
Almost every single day of the week
I will wash the dishes while you go have a beer

Chorus

Where is my John Wayne
Where is my Prairie Son
Where is my happy ending
Where have all the cowboys gone

Where is my Marlboro man
Where is his shiny gun
Where is my lonely ranger
Where have all the cowboys gone
Where have all the cowboys gone
Where have all the cowboys gone
Yippee yo, yippee yeah

 

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