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Friday, October 28, 2005


Originally uploaded by kristalynn.

i recently watched that 43-hour long scorsese documentary on bob dylan. it didn't affect me that much - not as much as my boyfriend. he ran around for three days, in existential purgatory, pulling out his hair. "i have to DO something with my life!"

"i never knew dylan was so... skinny." i remarked.

i ran into a friend of mine - let's call him tibor - the other day. i seized an opportunity. "i still have your dylan biography - i gotta get it back to you."

"you have time.” he placed his hand on my shoulder. “i want you to read it."


tibor gave me this book easily four years ago. i read 13 pages of it, found dylan to be an asshole, and continued with the harry potter series.

about two years ago, i was having coffee with tibor and made my first attempt to return the dylan book. "keep it," he said. "i'm reading neil young's biography - it's great. i'll lend it to you when i'm done."


when tibor left, i turned to another friend - let's call him velásquez - "i brought that dylan book to the beach. a wave washed up on shore. the book's totally wrinkled. the spine's curly."

"i never borrow books," velásquez said. "i don’t want someone to have that kind of control over me. he wanted a wave to wash up on shore. do you not see the hold he has on you?"

i've got to get that book back to him. the section with all the photos just fell out.


At October 29, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

buy him a new one on and have it sent directly. the hold will be off and you can further abuse the book.


At October 30, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh my god...that totally looks like i'm plugging chapters.


Buxom S.

At October 30, 2005, Blogger sass said...

that sounds like a "solution". over here at paxisisfat inc., we're not interested in solutions. nice try.

At October 30, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...'s an idea...

wait 2 years, run into him AGAIN when every odd page has fallen out and you feel even more in his debt...then make some lame-a$$ excuse as to why the book can NOT be returned "at this time"...kind of like returning a set of keys.

Signed: Sleepless in Monkey Balls, AB.

At October 31, 2005, Blogger Kell said...

Sorry about the book - I think Dylan is an ass too, but he was a great songwriter (that's why I never want to meet famous singers I love. If they're asses, I don't want to know about it.)

BTW - sorry about the clown. I don't care much for the white-faced either, but this clown is a friend of mine, so he gets into the calendar... He's also a magician, and can make some fairly extensive balloon shapes.

What's crazy about him - is he was a POW on the Pueblo... Spent a year at the mercy of Vietnam. Now I understand why he just wants to make kids happy. Weird, eh?

At October 31, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

tell him it fell out of your hands and down the sewer grate next time you're hit by a car....

At October 31, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh dear God that is the funniest thing I've EVER READ. Buy a new copy of the stupid book about Bob "ass bead" Dylan and then mail it to Tibor. And then tell him to keep his crap books to himself from then on.

At October 31, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Although I have to say that I really like the solution presented by frogpajamas... It covers all bases, really. - kjc


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