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Thursday, January 19, 2006

team spirit!

does insanity run in the family: my grandmother's boudoir
Originally uploaded by kristalynn.

i was recently chatting with a friend when she flat out declared that she didn't like going to concerts.

"why? not even u2?"

"i don't like being part of a collective."

my brain raced. i was thinking i had just heard the most fascinating statement ever made.

"explain." i leaned forward.

"well, i just can't stand being part of a mass group of people - expected to share the same emotions. i hate that everyone faces in the same direction, looking at the same thing. and as for U2, i could maybe sit through 2 or 3 songs and then i'd have to leave."

holy shit. where has this woman been my whole life?

"now wait a minute," i said, "i really, really hated "spirit" days in high school. you know the days where you had to wear your pajamas to school. is that the same thing?"

she thought about it.

"well, yes, because essentially, if you wear your stupid pajamas to school, you're making yourself part of a collective."

"remember all the whores who dragged in their stuffed animals as well?"

"i do."

"now, what about movies? you can't go to movies?"

"nope. we're all facing in the same direction."

"is this ocd? are you mad?"


"well," i said, "in a movie, you're not all expected to have the same reaction. you can walk out. right? like the two old biddies at my screening of 'brokeback mountain' did right after the cornholing scene. or like i did during braveheart when the girl entered and i thought oh man. that's going to be his girlfriend or something. and then she's going to die....."

"you left during braveheart?"

"i did. it sucked."

"well, i left during some jodi foster movie where she was communicating with aliens..."


"i don't know. anyway, some alien was taking some kind of human form in order to present itself to jodi. and i said, if that alien takes the form of her dead dad, i'm outta here. and then the alien is all hello jodi - or whatever her character's name was - i have to appear in the form of your dead dad because humans do not have the capabilities to view us or whatever. i said that's it, stood up, and left."

"i thought you didn't go to movies?"

"boyfriends make me go."

don't ask us to participate in any parades.


At January 20, 2006, Blogger Kell said...

I had the EXACT SAME Reaction to that Jodi Foster movie.... Had you stayed, (like I did, despite my disgust at the absence of creativity in the script), you'd have been absolutely BLOWN away at the end... It was probably one of the worst films I've ever had the displeasure of trogging through.

At January 20, 2006, Anonymous Buxom S. said...

K.Crkhd = Good times. "good times, man...good times."

i declare today "Pajama Day". All you Ho's out there, dust off "Twinkles" & "Spazzy McGee" and get out your bustier. those office boyz won't know what hit 'em.

p.s. the next year i ended up renting the "jodi foster movie where she was communicating with aliens" to see how it ended and was, in fact, "BLOWN away"

At January 20, 2006, Blogger Irin said...

I gave the script a little more credit...the aliens acted appropriately by showing up in human form, they knew that humans are still in a really primitive state and scare easily, after all they only had a transmission of Hitler giving a speech to thousands of fanatical German's to go on.
great performances all around in that flick too, Michael Chaban was great as Hadden
seems like a "love" or "hate " kinda movie

At January 21, 2006, Anonymous Buxom S. said...

criminy...either way, being told to show up in flannel (or a thong) to school on the last friday of every month ending in "ember" sucks hairy monkey-butt.

At January 24, 2006, Blogger sass said...

i never saw "contact".

At February 09, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, I remember spirit days at Gloucester H.S. I liked it when it was just school colour days, since I seemed to have a lot of grey and maroon in my wardrobe already. Pyjama days, well I just skipped them. Not very dignified. Yes, I remember the whores carrying their stuffed animals.


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