you'll have another?

champagne
Originally uploaded by kristalynn.

i've been fighting infections for what seems to be going on 5 weeks now. i took several weeks off work and schlepped around in stretchy pants; a paunch developing due to lack of mobility. i lay on the couch and coughed and grimaced and had dvds inserted into the machine for me. i wanted to learn how to sign because it hurt too much to speak. i know how to sign "thank you" because i looked it up once, but my boyfriend didn't know what i was doing.

so imagine my excitement when i deemed myself well enough to attend a housewarming brunch this past sunday. my greetings were enthusiastic and genuine considering i haven't had external contact since late september. i sidled up to the food table and predominantly hovered over the smoked salmon. and then i spotted several bottles of champagne. and a thingy of orange juice.

i turned to the people in my immediate midst, "mimosa?"

not too many declined, and i found myself mixing up a batch of breakfast champagne.

and then a second batch.

and then i misplaced my food.


"more?" asked someone, endorsing a bottle of champagne in one hand and the thingy of tropicana in the other.

"mmm..." i replied, holding out my glass. but i quickly withdrew it when he went to pour the juice. he looked puzzled.

"too acidic," i alerted.

not much longer after, it got to a point where people were beginning to refuse my offers of straight champagne. my instincts kicked in. where's the other ukrainian? and where's the irish girl? i found them both with empty glasses and wide eyes. i believe we polished off the bottle, commanded someone to chill another in the freezer, and discovered someone's housewarming gift of 150 proof homemade grappa.


i had made my way over and sat down next to another friend. when i get tipsy, i tend to blurt out odd, miscellaneous, and potentially mundane facts.

"turns out i ate three-quarters of a lemon meringue pie last night."

"what?"

i explained how my boyfriend brought a defective pie home from work. he instructed me to “try some”, it was “runny but delicious”. the next night, i sat down in front of the tv with one piece and gobbled it right up. i helped myself to another - i didn’t see any harm. the third slice was a little slimmer, as i was becoming a bit concerned that the sugar and lard might make me sick.

it didn't.

i was just so content being home alone, watching some crap movie, and eating so many, many slices of this lemon meringue pie. there was no way that any aspect of it could be *bad*. and it was only the next morning that i was made aware of the pie inventory and of exactly how much i had consumed.

my friend was bemused yet concerned. "yes, well, there's a fine line between compulsive overeating and living in the moment. believe me."

i hearkened back to the key lime pie that she got us as a gift for looking after her cat. she ate the majority of it before giving it to us.

compulsive... i harrumphed. "where'd i put my champagne?"