contain

off the hook
Originally uploaded by kristalynn.

"what size are your feet?"

i knew where this was going even before the words "seven and a half" came out of my mouth.

i was having dinner with one of my best friends and his good friend. this man had been at his sister’s apartment the whole day, packing up her stuff. she passed away a couple of weeks earlier of a brain tumor. she learned of this tumor only two months before that. her boyfriend was at the hospital every morning before she woke up.

"you're the same size. same style. she had skinny arms like that," his chopstick poked me in the shoulder.

i could only nod.

"she's got tons of shoes, clothes... CDs. boxes of stuff. i knew she loved shoes, but did she need a hundred pairs? i've got two pairs of shoes."

"i've got about twenty pairs," i looked over at my friend.

he nodded.


before getting in the car i asked what his sister would think of us going into her apartment, to riffle through her possessions, picking and rejecting. he walked over from the driver's side and leaned against the car. he told me that she wouldn't mind, that she wasn't one who had many secrets.

there were about four boxes of shoes in the hallway; her closets still full of her clothing, shelves still stacked with DVDs, her bathroom full of really great products.

he motioned to the boxes. "see what fits, what you like. the only rule is that if you're not going to use it, don't take it."

she had the exact same pair of shoes that i had just tripped on some new york cobblestones with. i had scuffed them and semi ruined them. i took those and a pair of sexy eff-me boots. i have a high pair, and a low pair. she supplied me with a nice medium length pair. with sexy pointy toes.

while my friend and i were going through some CDs, the brother came into the room with an armful of beads.

"she's got baskets and baskets of these. beads and necklaces and earrings. what is this?"

"a chandelier," i said.

"a chandelier?" he said. "i didn't even know she did this. the whole front room is full of beads. it's going to go to the women's shelter."

i wonder what i would think if I knew i was leaving my apartment for the last time.