just desserts

Originally uploaded by kristalynn.

many years ago i went to new york with a girlfriend. i remember, as we were packing up, she found three rolls of film under the bed. "oh, HERE'S my film... i thought you had taken it."

i was affronted. "you thought i stole your film?"

"well, you're studying photography and all. but you didn't - look." she held up three rolls of black and white film. "let's go eat."

but i couldn't shake the fact that for a period of time, who knows how long, she had lived with the thought that i had stolen from her. those hours or days of distrust existed. and i couldn't believe that the universe would wipe clean her feelings once she found the film she had misplaced.


on this recent road trip, my travel partner (different one) and i embarked on what she refers to as the "death march". but when a local pulls out a guitar, sings to us at breakfast, and then suggests we visit some natural hot springs, i look at it like it's something i can't pass up.

"there are two hot springs. the one that's further down the road is a shorter, but more challenging hike. it's worth it. it’s beautiful – the water’s around 98 degrees…" he looked forlorn and his guitar fell off to the side. "shit, i wish i could go with you guys."

he was high.


our hike did not start off well. within the first 7 minutes, my hiking partner got stuck on a log. i walked back to see if i could help.

"i'm afraid of heights." tears were welling in her eyes. "i gotta do this on my own." she waved me off with her hand that held her gucci bag. a hermés scarf that reminded her of her fiancé was perma-attached to its handle.

“give me your bag,” i was trying to speak in a pleasant tone. “give me the bag and get yourself off that log.”

“no. the bag has sentimental value. you KNOW it reminds me of PHIL.”

“give. it. to. me.”

"go!" the tears were in full flow and beads of sweat had formed on her forehead.

i turned and walked away. i understood that she had to tackle her fears on her own. but i also understood that she may return to the car.

about five minutes later i sat by the river's edge to see if she would come. i had crossed two guys who were leaving the hot springs. they informed me that it was “only a few minutes further”.

not long after she showed up, walking stick in hand.

"good!" i exclaimed. i was happy to see her. i told her that, due to the path ending, i wasn’t 100% sure where to go.

"maybe we need to cross the river? there's a path over there."

there was a path, but it was not the right thing to do. we managed to turn a 15-minute hike into a 2-hour "white water struggle". i won't get into too much detail, but i will mention that there was a moment when we had to empty our bags (gucci and otherwise) to take a personal inventory of what food might sustain us through the night (2 mints, 4 crackers, and less than 500ml of water). the river was also re-traversed, we held onto logs so that the current didn't take us away. we clambered over snowbanks, portions of pants were lost, one head was knocked on mossy rock, and there was a minor urination in one’s pants (or portion thereof).


later that evening, once settled into our log cabin with our bottles of champagne and vodka, my travel partner confessed to me that there was a moment where i annoyed her, when she quite possibly could have hated me: as i "floated oh-so-easily" along the path. she mocked me, called me “nature-girl” and whatnot.

i knew the damage was done. once someone becomes incensed by you, or thinks you’ve stolen from them, the constitution of that relationship is changed.

i looked over at her gucci bag. it was covered in mud.

her feelings were warranted.

big timber

big timber
Originally uploaded by kristalynn.

"do you think you guys are still going to be friends by the time your trip's over?"

that was the question that was asked of me so many times before i embarked on a 2-week drive across the united states with a girlfriend.

i answered by shrugging one shoulder. "maybe not..."


"truth be known?"

"mm hmm," i replied. this had become one of our road games. random blurtings-out of deep, dark secrets. it is, by far, my favorite game.

"i was pretty sure this trip was going to be the end of our friendship," she confessed.

i smiled knowingly and continued to stir the hot tub with the paddle. it was my job to get the temperature down from 125 degrees, considering i was the one who had added all the logs to the fire.


my driving partner made random guesses at where we should end up by day's end. it didn't matter if there was anything of note in that town; if it appeared on a map, she'd point at it and repeat its name throughout the day.

"if i hear you utter missoula one more time, i swear, i'll drive this car into a ditch. it'll roll and kill us both. i swear i'll do this. and plus, isn't today "no speak day"?"

"yes."

"no speaking please."


billings, montana was one of her imaginary destinations. when we arrived, an ire rose up in me that i had never felt before. it is a city that rivals athens, greece in hideousness. a stench permeated the air. smokestacks lined the sky.

"fuck it stinks," she said.

"the last thing in the world i want is to stop here. but i have to pee."

"big surprise."

"can we stop at this burger king please?"

"buy a drink this time. you can't keep going into places and using their bathrooms without buying anything."

"yes i can. they're roadstops. they understand."

"they are NOT. here, follow this guy going in now. pretend you're with him."

"the convict? sure. wait here."

i returned from the bathroom to find her pointing at another destination. "look, there's a place called "park city" about 30 miles from here. that sounds cute, doesn't it? park city?"

"can we just get out of here? this town has rendered me angry."

"i think park city is the place for us."

park city consisted of a trailer park populated along railroad tracks. two guys working on a motorcycle watched us slowly and silently drive by.

"if we stay here, we will die. there will be a single screen door keeping anal rapists from our bedside."

"keep going?" she asked.


back at the hot tub, i grabbed my glass of champagne. "look!" i said with pride, "i can get my feet in! i bet it's down to about 115 degrees."

"i'm going to get that last bag of ice."

"no! we need that for the margaritas..."

Without Prejudice

Originally uploaded by kristalynn.

From the offices of D.B. Malone, Charles Pantalones, and Tim Calhoun

Dear South Dakota:

Please see enclosed all receipts for expenses incurred while traversing your potentially beautiful, yet entirely unwelcoming, state.

In addition to the receipts for one (1) tank of fuel ($61), one (1) night of lodging at the Drake Motor Inn, and two (2) orders of flapjacks plus coffee from the IHOP ($12), we are adding a mild disgruntlement surcharge in the amount of $250 for damages sustained for having to endure Wall Drug billboards for over 500 miles, without reprieve.

In the spirit of largesse, please be advised that all monies reimbursed will be applied to Idaho's "Adopt a Lewis and Clark Highway" Program.

Thank you for the time and effort you have put into your state. Please accept my best wishes for your future.

Lawsuit pending