the ones we love

golden gate bridge
Originally uploaded by kristalynn.

i’m going on strike. against those who are making things all the more difficult for me. i've just had an incredibly stressful two weeks and it seems that i can't rely on those who are supposed to be there. in fact, they're making things all the more difficult.

from my best friend who's not happy until i feel smaller than he naturally does ("i especially liked how you told that entire story with chocolate on your teeth.") to family members who treat everything as a competition ("Where pray tell are you staying at the Manulife building?") to another friend, who, when offered my place to stay over the holidays, barks back that her Boyfriend cannot possibly be left alone for a "girls' night out”. i took her insolence as an indication that, no, she did, in fact, not need a place to stay, but thank-you for asking.

notice how i capitalized any references to Him, just like people do when they write about God.


i was speaking to a friend about my woes, my annoyances, and my inability to sometimes catch my breath.

"what if you told these people that you love them?” he suggested.

i took in a sharp breath in when i thought about all the love i have for them. i contemplated sending them love emails.

"i do love them..."

"uh huh," he said.

"... but it may be too soon."

just like in a relationship, it would be too soon. maybe i’ll drunk dial them once i get over feeling like the gangly, flat-chested, failure that they called me out on.