homage to the homard

Originally uploaded by kristalynn.

since i got back from my vacation, i've been flying back and forth to toronto like a chicken sans head, dealing with work. amid all this travel, i also had to go and pick up my car that i abandoned 6 months ago, in another city. i left it with my project manager because i couldn't deal with the winter sleet, rain, and snowstorms. i incur thousands of dollars worth of parking tickets and really hate that.

"don't worry about picking it up. you can leave it here while i'm away on my next contract."

she'd be back NEXT december. "hm." i said, actually considering it.

during a brief blip of nice weather, she wanted to take my car to get washed - so it wouldn't rust to death.

"i took your friggin' eduardo to the car wash. he died on me in the lineup. several men had to push me out of lineup. and i had to call a tow truck."

i had to sit down. eduardo ALWAYS started. he has never given me one iota of trouble. ever. "what do you MEAN he didn't start? why?"

"whatever. i'm never touching him again."

so when i went down to pick him up, i decided to apologize on eduardo's behalf with 92 pounds of shellfish. once her russian neighbors lost interest in us (when the wine supply was exhausted), we grilled it all up. a tiny eulogy was said for the two lobsters before she dropped them to their death. in addition to the wine, i guess the eulogy was reason that we both looked at the pile of decimated shells and became wistful.

"20 minutes ago those things were alive."

i harkened back to when she grabbed them and said, "mr. green elastics, mr. yellow elastics (in reference to their claw elastics) - see you on the flip side!" now they were in our bellies.

the pile of shells made me think of what i have in my life right now that could become an empty carcass.

i thought of my relationship and, not that things are going bad, wondered if i'd ever look back at it from a carcassy, empty shell point of view.

it's entirely possible. if you've ever been involved in an accident, you think back to that pivotal moment; that second that your, or someone you love's, life changed forever.

i wonder what she thought about. i wonder who she's lost; what relationships are no longer there.

we all have our green elastics and our yellow elastics.