day tripping

Originally uploaded by kristalynn.

when i was 16 or so, i was waiting at a bus stop with a friend, when i had a flash.

"i don't want to die wearing big earrings." i said.

she looked at me quizzically, "why? you'd be dead. you wouldn't care."

"i think i'd just look so dumb.'

"well, i don't want to die when i have my period."

i shook my head, "no, no... that's not it. it would just be so senseless being dead and having big ol' hoop earrings on. i mean, you're dead. what's the point?"

i imagined the paramedics lifting my limp, lifeless body. my dangly hoop earrings would knock them on the wrist and they'd have to rearrange their arm and shuffle me around because the big ol' hoop earring with feathers would be hindering proper life-saving techniques. "now why'd she go and put those on...?" they'd think.

i looked earnestly into my friend's eyes and hoped the bus wouldn't come. this was it, this is what i've always been trying to figure out - the senselessness, the futility... how nothing meant anything.

she blinked her frosted blue eyelids at me, "i still think it'd suck if i had my period."