no shit

Originally uploaded by kristalynn.

i drove down to new york for a weekend of respite, repose, and potent margaritas. i love returning to new york for a good dose of insanity and friendliness (yes, friendliness). i was at whole foods in columbus circle where another customer was smelling some organic, homemade, hippie soaps.

"mmm.... smell this!" she shoved the 2 foot long bar into my face. it was the kind where you had to cut your own chunk.

i sniffed. "lovely. almonds. it's so marzipany."

my boyfriend and i were looking for parking one evening. "what about along here?" he suggested.

"nuh uh. this is where i got... attacked." i hesitated to use the word "mugged" because they didn't get any money.

"attacked? what do you mean attacked? did you get mugged?"

"two guys grabbed me by my hair and pinned me down, with my face on the pavement."

my boyfriend didn't ask about the resolution of said mugtack, but it got me thinking about that night and the two people who saved me.

i was having drinks with a girlfriend and her boyfriend who used to play in ultravox, who i was later accused of secretly loving by some guy with a bad perm and a big ol' bag of chips on his shoulder. i was about 20 blocks from home, so i decided to walk. i knew it wasn't necessarily the best idea, but money was scarce.

i started walking and got lost in thought. i noticed about a block away two people walking towards me and i thought, "shit, something could happen here." as they got closer, they split up to be on either side of me, grabbed me by my hair, and scraped my cheek against the sidewalk.

"fuck."

"give us your money."

"i don't HAVE any money. do you think i'd be walking home if i HAD money?"

"give us your money!" i then felt a hand reaching into my pocket.

i elbowed the hand away. the pressure of my head against the sidewalk increased.

i then heard a car stop about 20 feet away. their grip on my head eased up and i freed myself. i looked up to see a cab. a girl was looking out of the back window.

i stood up, my heart pounding. one of the culprits ran away. the other one was staring straight at me. i stared back. i wrapped my hand around the can of mace in my pocket. this is why i elbowed their hands away - i didn't want them to get their hands on this first.

we had a stare down for what seemed like minutes. i was deciding if i should spray him and then run for it.

"get into my cab!" yelled the cab driver.

"fucker." i whispered at the malefactor as i walked by him into the cab.

"are you okay?" asked the girl and the cabbie.

"gawd, thank-you, thank-you for stopping."

the cab dropped off his fare and then took me straight to my door. he waited until i got into my building - both doors. i turned around and waved to him before he drove off.

i know the girl and the cabbie will never ever read this, but this happened years ago and i am still so grateful. how easy it would have been to simply drive by me and the mess i got myself into.

not taking any shit is what makes your city so great.