navel gazing

Originally uploaded by kristalynn.

i'm at the age where a lot of friends and siblings are having kids. inevitably, at around the age of 1, they start learning where their bellybutton is.

"where's your bellybutton?"

"da!"

and once we discover where that is, we rarely look elsewhere.


i recently flew to the other side of the country for a job interview and if i took the job, i would have to move all the way over there. it also would involve shutting down my tiny little consulting business that i've taken a tiny bit of pride in over the past 7 years. i'd then return to the 9-5, fluorescently-lit office environment.

it felt like a prison sentence. i needed advice. i called my boyfriend.

"so what do you think i should do?"

"well, i've been thinking about it and if you took the job, i'd be able to audition for parts over there."

"yeah, there's tons of acting work over here. tons."

"right. so i could fly back and forth, auditioning for parts both here and there."

"great. thanks."

"hey, anytime krista. anytime."


i called another friend. one who lived in the city of the new job.

"i've talked it over with my sister and we both think you should take it. i mean, they have an on-site gym!"

"i'll never put on a pair of track pants in front of co-workers."

"oh, but gawd, it would be so cool if you moved here."


"how much is your freedom worth to you?" inquired another friend.

"i do get a lot done between 1 and 3 in the morning..." i mulled.

"do you really need that dental plan?"

"i've never had a cavity in my life."

"i've never had a job in my life."


i didn't take the job. if i've learned one thing in my life, it's to trust my instincts.

but i feel like i've let a lot of people down.