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Thursday, April 06, 2006

navel gazing

Originally uploaded by kristalynn.

i'm at the age where a lot of friends and siblings are having kids. inevitably, at around the age of 1, they start learning where their bellybutton is.

"where's your bellybutton?"


and once we discover where that is, we rarely look elsewhere.

i recently flew to the other side of the country for a job interview and if i took the job, i would have to move all the way over there. it also would involve shutting down my tiny little consulting business that i've taken a tiny bit of pride in over the past 7 years. i'd then return to the 9-5, fluorescently-lit office environment.

it felt like a prison sentence. i needed advice. i called my boyfriend.

"so what do you think i should do?"

"well, i've been thinking about it and if you took the job, i'd be able to audition for parts over there."

"yeah, there's tons of acting work over here. tons."

"right. so i could fly back and forth, auditioning for parts both here and there."

"great. thanks."

"hey, anytime krista. anytime."

i called another friend. one who lived in the city of the new job.

"i've talked it over with my sister and we both think you should take it. i mean, they have an on-site gym!"

"i'll never put on a pair of track pants in front of co-workers."

"oh, but gawd, it would be so cool if you moved here."

"how much is your freedom worth to you?" inquired another friend.

"i do get a lot done between 1 and 3 in the morning..." i mulled.

"do you really need that dental plan?"

"i've never had a cavity in my life."

"i've never had a job in my life."

i didn't take the job. if i've learned one thing in my life, it's to trust my instincts.

but i feel like i've let a lot of people down.


At April 06, 2006, Anonymous Buxom S. said...

I would love it if you were in the West...closer to "Monkey Balls" as you call the city I live in...but I would love it more if you never changed and you stayed the same, fascinating Krckhead that i have come to love and respect. You would NOT be that same person if you sold-out and became just another sad-little-drone.

(my 2 cents)

At April 06, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You have NOT let anyone down. NO. You wanted to check out the vibe and like you said at Fatburger, "It's a GREAT job for SOMEBODY. Just not ME." And that doesn't mean you can't send Tears of a Clown over here to do some acting. Or you can't both come here for a DIFFERENT job - one that is a contract and not 9-5. You thought maybe you would be into it. You got there. You just weren't. That does NOT make you bad. And you were totally honest once you had assessed the situation. It's not like you strung them on for another few weeks until they sent you free pie. I don't know what that just meant. Anyway you are GREAT and THANK YOU for the awesome day in the rain with burgers and Morrisey the judgemental coffee barista who thought your name was Brit. When it was, in fact, Rick. -kjc

At April 07, 2006, Anonymous lori said...

Sosi would rather have a happy auntie that visits a lot, than a sad auntie that lives here.

you did the right thing.


At April 08, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

your gut will always give you the right answer. if it screams at the thought of being spooked by green office lighting from 9 to 5 then you made the right choice.

no regrets.

Lead frier at Fatburger

At April 11, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

YEAH. Always go with your gut. Because your subconscious knows things. Like Fatburgers are delicious. That sort of thing... -kjc

At April 12, 2006, Blogger Kattia said...

It seems that actually, no one is dissapointed chica!
Our instict should be our wiser adviser ... when did we sttoped listening to it?
You surely will get more fun by doing what we are not suppose to do...


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