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Tuesday, August 23, 2005

life's what happens when you're making other plans

Originally uploaded by kristalynn.

a couple of weeks ago, i sat down and devised a Time Optimization Plan (TOP). this was an emergency measure that was put into effect so that i would have time to do my work AND do yoga/go for runs AND enjoy summer AND see my boyfriend AND eat.

it's failing miserably. i still don't have any time to do my dishes and the only time i'm permitted to pee is when i'm multitasking and talking on the phone. the reason why TOP is failing is because i didn't take into consideration that everything would fall apart. TOP operates on the assumption that people do their jobs and computers turn on. not so.

yesterday i made a tomato pasta sauce and the oregano and basil simply sat on top while the sauce simmered. i didn't have time to stir the sauce.

my bank decided not to send me any statements, misplace all my money, and charge me exorbitant bank fees because i'm now overdrawn. i've been screaming at them on the phone for a month. my nike watch broke. it'll take me 3 years to find the receipt and mail it back to them. my imac screen has a big red line through it. my ipod battery has 20 minutes of life in it, not "12 hours" like they profess. my telephone flew out of my slippery pasta fingers yesterday and smashed on the cement floor into forty nine pieces. i splurged on cute summer clothes a few weeks back. each and every piece is falling apart (anti product placement: benneton, bebe, and rw&co). i'm dressed in brand new clothes that are coming unraveling at the seams. i'm a ragamuffin.

i'd like to revise my Time Optimization Plan, but i didn't allot any time for revisions. it must stay as is, reminding me of my persistent failures.

yesterday i snapped. i went for a run and when i found the perfect running song (method man, if you must know), my left earphone kept flying out of my ear. i stopped, shook my fists to the heavens, and screamed out loud, "fuck you fucking THINGS!"

when TOP allows me some free time to rent "kung-fu hustle" or buy groceries or read a chapter of a book, ironically titled "how to be idle", i'm riddled with guilt. work is always in the back of my mind. my be-dustbunnied apartment halts my serotonin neurotransmitters, and the heap of clothing on my couch, from which i dress, reduces my breath to shallow gasps.

i can't go on like this. summer has passed me by. soon it'll be my entire life.

TOP, why have you forsaken me?!

now, if you'll excuse me, i must take 45 seconds to pace, pull out my hair, mumble to myself, and overdose on caffeine.


At August 23, 2005, Anonymous Anonymous said...

=)) (on yahoo...that's the guy that rolls around the floor laughing.)

K-CkHd...TOP sucks. If TOP doesn't allow for you to make revisions, perhaps it's time to call on a committee to do a case study, fit-gap analyis, needs analysis, Cost-Ben, project charter, PIP and then just run with it. I'll talk to my people and get back to you. We'll schedule a meeting with a pre-read and a take-away.

Buxom S.

At August 24, 2005, Blogger frogpajamas said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At August 24, 2005, Blogger frogpajamas said...

Take said TOP and shred. Time cannot be parsed or compartmentalized. It is impossible.

Instead, have a simple goal each day. It can be tactical or ethereal. This way, at the end of the day, when you lay your head down on your feathered pillow, you will feel that even though things are still in progress, you haven't lost focus and are working towards finality.

Then roll over, stroke his ear, and fall asleep.

At August 29, 2005, Anonymous demetri said...

sounds like you need a mini-vacation from your life.

when i need that i like going to far away places like japanese web sites! try this;

you'll almost feel the culture shock!


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