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Thursday, March 22, 2007

care schmare

greek flower
Originally uploaded by kristalynn.
i caught up with a friend not too long ago.

"how are you?" i asked.

after the regular prattle and blather, she punctuated her sentence with, "and i'm still depressed. i think i may be bi-polar. but who gives a cack."

i emailed back: "bi-polar, huh? i give a cack. let's get you on some drugs!"

she answered. "i don't think drugs are the answer to my problems."

"i know, i was being facetious. i thought i was being funny. i know that drugs are the last thing you need."

"i saw your facetiousness, but i also think that you feel i really need drugs."

"i do."

"i don't."

"i know, honey. i know you don’t. so what's wrong?"

she mentioned some things. but intimated that she really can't stand where she’s living - in a very conservative, red-neckish community.

"people are dumb," i sighed.

"they sure are," she concurred. "but don't worry, i annoy me too."

about a month ago, i went to a seminar on global warming. the lineup was around the block. we waited out in the cold by the hundreds. as we approached the entrance, we also passed by his huge tour bus, which was idling, i guess to keep all the important global-warming people warm.

once inside, someone tried to hand us a form.

"no thanks. trying to save the environment." i said, waving my hand to indicate where we were. i smiled. he didn't.

"you need this to vote," said the hander-outer.

i refused the hail of leaflets, brochures, and newletters on the way in, but found a stack of others on my chair once inside. i picked them up; they were all printed on heavy-duty, bleached paper.

“what’s up with this?” i asked, waving the cardboard sheets.

“what?” everyone around me blinked; not an iota of concern.

once the conference ended, i tried to make my way out to find he-who-tried-to-make-me-vote. strewn all over the floor were the multiple pieces of paper - discarded, disregarded. everyone stood around chatting, mingling, hobnobbing. i was appalled, and i seemed to be the only one. it was also an affair to which i didn’t realize i was to wear sequins.

i found one of the vote receptacles. i asked the young gentleman manning the station what the deal with the heavy-duty, super-bleached paper was.

“oh, i don’t know. but you’re the second person who’s said something about it…”

two out of 900.

i gave him my best nonplussed look.

i found my friend. “can we go please? can we go get a drink?”

“yeah, just a sec. i need to find the guy with the video camera. i want to talk to him about light bulbs.”

who knew global warming was simply a place to be seen?

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

cosa nostra

Originally uploaded by kristalynn.
for those of you who follow this blog (all 1.5 of you), you may remember that the namesake of this url died in september from two monstrous cancer tumors that took over her belly.

i took me two months before i came trumpeting home with a new kitten. i found her on my birthday. and it took me two months to find her a name.

last friday, sicily got spayed. i had a bad feeling about doing it. she seemed too small. i didn't want her personality to change. something just didn't seem right.

on sunday, two days after her operation, she curled up on the bed and didn't move. i noticed a small grey spot on her nose. by evening's end, it has spread and turned from grey to red. and then started to bleed. and then she started to bleed from her mouth. i collapsed over top of her and wept. i called my boyfriend, who was snowboarding, and left an unintelligible message about her imminent death.

she's been to the vet and back three times since. they have no idea what it is. periphigus? eosinophilic granulomatosis? lupus like anna nicole?

and anna nicole is dead, i might remind you.

today i had to truck her back to the vet because, well, she's bleeding from the face. on the way back home, as i passed by st. viateur bagel, a pigeon flew out of the sky and landed right on the shoulder of one of two men standing out front.

i was flabbergasted. pigeons don’t land on people. unless it's piazza san marco.

i walked up to the man/pigeon. the man tried to shoo him off, but the bird just flapped his wings angrily and settled back in.

"do you know this bird? is he your pet?" i asked. it was the first time i smiled in days. i know it seems like a really dumb question, but if you had seen them together....

the old man shook his head. "he's eating my bagel."

his friend's eyes widened. "show him the cat!", he said, pointing at my cage. "the cat will make him go away."

i looked at them blankly. "cat?"

i had temporarily forgotten that cats eat birds.

"right! my CAT!"

both men got excited. "show the bird the cat!" they chimed.

i brought the cage up to the bird's level. the men saw the bleeding cat, but politely didn't say anything. they winced though. or maybe the pigeon had pecked or clawed.

"sicily! look at the bird!" i beamed. "look!"

she approached the front of her cage, intrigued by this bird that matched her in size.

the pigeon flew off, and, in doing so, flew straight into the face of another passer-by. the person swatted wildly.

as i walked away, i turned and waved to the two men. bagels in hand, they waved back.