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Monday, June 23, 2008

schmap again

Originally uploaded by kristalynn.
i just got word that my photo of an old speakeasy in new york is being used in the "schmap for the iphone" ad. cool. chekkit.

Thursday, June 19, 2008


off the hook
Originally uploaded by kristalynn.
"what size are your feet?"

i knew where this was going even before the words "seven and a half" came out of my mouth.

i was having dinner with one of my best friends and his good friend. this man had been at his sister’s apartment the whole day, packing up her stuff. she passed away a couple of weeks earlier of a brain tumor. she learned of this tumor only two months before that. her boyfriend was at the hospital every morning before she woke up.

"you're the same size. same style. she had skinny arms like that," his chopstick poked me in the shoulder.

i could only nod.

"she's got tons of shoes, clothes... CDs. boxes of stuff. i knew she loved shoes, but did she need a hundred pairs? i've got two pairs of shoes."

"i've got about twenty pairs," i looked over at my friend.

he nodded.

before getting in the car i asked what his sister would think of us going into her apartment, to riffle through her possessions, picking and rejecting. he walked over from the driver's side and leaned against the car. he told me that she wouldn't mind, that she wasn't one who had many secrets.

there were about four boxes of shoes in the hallway; her closets still full of her clothing, shelves still stacked with DVDs, her bathroom full of really great products.

he motioned to the boxes. "see what fits, what you like. the only rule is that if you're not going to use it, don't take it."

she had the exact same pair of shoes that i had just tripped on some new york cobblestones with. i had scuffed them and semi ruined them. i took those and a pair of sexy eff-me boots. i have a high pair, and a low pair. she supplied me with a nice medium length pair. with sexy pointy toes.

while my friend and i were going through some CDs, the brother came into the room with an armful of beads.

"she's got baskets and baskets of these. beads and necklaces and earrings. what is this?"

"a chandelier," i said.

"a chandelier?" he said. "i didn't even know she did this. the whole front room is full of beads. it's going to go to the women's shelter."

i wonder what i would think if I knew i was leaving my apartment for the last time.

Saturday, June 07, 2008

charmed, i'm sure

Originally uploaded by kristalynn.
i was having beers in the afternoon sun with a friend, lamenting our relationship strike outs.

“i want something magical to happen to me, like in the movies,” i said.

“people aren’t fantasies, people are real,” he said. “we’re faulty. so far from perfect.”

“it’s true,” i nodded as i for some reason remembered how the creator of ren and stimpy said that anyone was gross if you looked at them up close.

when my sister and i were young, we lived in a tiny house on a military base. it looked like the kind of house kids draw. square. with a chimney on the roof. this chimney had a tiny door in the basement that i guess was to clean the soot or dead squirrels or something. this iron door was about 6 inches wide and 4 inches high. we were decorating the christmas tree when i wondered how santa could make his way through this tiny door.

i asked my parents.

my mom replied with something like, “santa’s magic. if he can visit every single house in the world in one night, he can squeeze through our chimney.”

i bought it.

but my dad replied with, “there’s no such thing as santa clause.”

i immediately felt very stupid. really foolish that i had been duped into believing in something that was not real. and then i realized that there must not be any easter bunny either.

my dad’s excuse was that he didn’t like lying to children.

in trying to regain the lost enchantment of my youth, i get choked up when reading or watching anything fantastical. “one hundred years of solitude” destroyed me. and i always get chocked up when watching people’s reactions to magic tricks. and you may remember that pulling a rabbit out of a box on the subway was one of the more memorable moments in my life.

i recently opted to go to a yoga class instead of joining a friend for a movie. while he waited, david blaine just happened to be shooting a video.

“what!?” i exclaimed. i was just blogging about him.*

“really? that’s so funny. well, he took my dollar and gave it back to me backwards. he also set half of it on fire. in a girl’s hand.”

i stared blankly. “i love david blaine, you know.”

“well, you missed him.”

i’m slowly and sadly realizing that i have to let go of my fantasy. we are not characters in the sex in the city movie. big is not going to show up and build me a closet. people are imperfect and are subject to moods. they also often have hair growing out of their ears.

trouble is, not matter how often i get spurned, i still cry when i watch david blaine turn a homeless man’s cup of coffee into money.

* i had been blogging about him, but changed it to the more generic “magic” so that you wouldn’t have to read “david blaine” 900 times.