hold the door
i've recently implemented a battery of new life policies in hope that things will start to work better for me. one of these policies dictates that i should not resist everything, which usually renders myself in a bad mood.
so when i could not find a wingwoman to accompany me to the jazz festival with a date/non-date, i decided that i just had to "go with the flow", and that i was just going to a concert with an old friend. and if he got handsy, that i would simply move his hands from my person and say, "no no no".
"i must have details!" called my friend after me as i set off on my bike.
we met on a crowded corner. he had brought a wingcouple of his own - an old friend from high school and his new wife.
as we walked along the crowded streets to the stage, my date/non-date would place one hand on my back and the other out in front - indicating that i could go first. a pleasant surprise from a few past dud dates who, seemingly impervious to my presence (perhaps too taken by themselves and their unremitting self-sales pitch), would cut right in front of me when turning corners. it was i who had to stop to let them go, while they yammered on.
we ended up at a blues concert. the music was amazing - a group from chicago.
"would you like something to drink? a beer?" he asked.
i didn’t. i was beered out. he went to the beer tent and returned with an iced tea in hand for me. i beamed. so simple, so thoughtful. i was parched. how did he know?
"stand here," he said as he grabbed my waist and moved me to higher ground. "you can see better." i could. and i could also lean up against a tree during my tired moments. he stood behind a tall person. but i happily took the better spot.
his wingcouple got lost in the crowd.
conversation flowed easily. i probed areas where i wanted more information (yoga retreats, martial arts, his custody battle) and he responded freely and candidly. in the middle of a conversation, i'd make a joke, and he'd actually get it, and even build on it. a rarity.
we moved on to a second show. we both liked it only for about 10 minutes. leaving the show we wrapped up our date/non-date with no tension; no lunging lips, and no sweaty, grapple-y hands.
i figure he is just naturally super friendly, affectionate, and mindful. even if it was a non-date, he made me feel like a special person, if just for one evening.